Wednesday, July 1, 2009
unconditional L.O.v.E
I am so lucky that i have amazing people in my life who keep me in check and encourage me. jesus thank you. i am in love with you.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
tizzzity tahoe
S:“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Romans 12:3
OAP: this verse is very blunt. lately i have been trying to do this. sometimes i get caught up in trying to do good, and then seeing myself as a good person forgetting the fact that i am not good, god is good, but not me, jade in the flesh. jesus has given us so much and we take that for granted and try to make ourselves look good and take that from him. i find myself when i am in situations or arguments looking at the other person and only seeing their flaws and completely disreguarding my own. i realize in situations i need to step back and not be so quick to judge the person who i am in disagreement with or hurt by but i need to look at myself and my actions. i think that we all need to look at ourselves and see that we aren't all we think we are. we aren't these deserving and good people that we wish we were. we are living in a world of sin and we have to try to overcome it and figure out how to use it to become a better person.
jesus i hope that i can step back and see what im doing, especially lately. i'm repelling people i feel like and i feel like i am the only one to blame. as i look at my actions i try to put together why this is happening but its really hard. i know that i am flawed and its hard jesus because other people are flawed too. another thing is when things happen to hurt other people i wish i was the one who got hurt and could take it on. i feel so bad especially when i hurt people. i wish that they hurt me instead to me when i hurt people i feel their hurt and it hurts me hahah this is so confusing but how i feel. i pray jesus that i can be able to pull back and see myself as what i am, and that i am flawed. i also pray that i can see that you have created me and care and love me no matter what. this unconditional love thing you do, its amazing. jesus i pray thhat i can love others as you do and that you can give me words of wisdom to those who i struggle to get along with. i pray that the words out of my mouth will be kind and that i can just love. unconditionally. that seems impossible. but thats my goal. i love you and the beautiful creation you have created. lord as i was sitting in a tube floating down the truckee river i had to stop talking and take it all in. you take my breath away. you have bestowed so much beauty on earth and the fact that i get to take a few days to enjoy it is amazing. i am only privlidged enough because of you. thank you for giving us those moments to where we can just sttop and take it in. thank you for blessing me so much. i can't even end to thankyou. i love you. you are beautiful. even the spiders that left countless marks on my arms are beautiful. you are amazing.
OAP: this verse is very blunt. lately i have been trying to do this. sometimes i get caught up in trying to do good, and then seeing myself as a good person forgetting the fact that i am not good, god is good, but not me, jade in the flesh. jesus has given us so much and we take that for granted and try to make ourselves look good and take that from him. i find myself when i am in situations or arguments looking at the other person and only seeing their flaws and completely disreguarding my own. i realize in situations i need to step back and not be so quick to judge the person who i am in disagreement with or hurt by but i need to look at myself and my actions. i think that we all need to look at ourselves and see that we aren't all we think we are. we aren't these deserving and good people that we wish we were. we are living in a world of sin and we have to try to overcome it and figure out how to use it to become a better person.
jesus i hope that i can step back and see what im doing, especially lately. i'm repelling people i feel like and i feel like i am the only one to blame. as i look at my actions i try to put together why this is happening but its really hard. i know that i am flawed and its hard jesus because other people are flawed too. another thing is when things happen to hurt other people i wish i was the one who got hurt and could take it on. i feel so bad especially when i hurt people. i wish that they hurt me instead to me when i hurt people i feel their hurt and it hurts me hahah this is so confusing but how i feel. i pray jesus that i can be able to pull back and see myself as what i am, and that i am flawed. i also pray that i can see that you have created me and care and love me no matter what. this unconditional love thing you do, its amazing. jesus i pray thhat i can love others as you do and that you can give me words of wisdom to those who i struggle to get along with. i pray that the words out of my mouth will be kind and that i can just love. unconditionally. that seems impossible. but thats my goal. i love you and the beautiful creation you have created. lord as i was sitting in a tube floating down the truckee river i had to stop talking and take it all in. you take my breath away. you have bestowed so much beauty on earth and the fact that i get to take a few days to enjoy it is amazing. i am only privlidged enough because of you. thank you for giving us those moments to where we can just sttop and take it in. thank you for blessing me so much. i can't even end to thankyou. i love you. you are beautiful. even the spiders that left countless marks on my arms are beautiful. you are amazing.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
tahoe here i come
S: Matthew 5:43-48
43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
OAP: I think this verse brings me back to one of the basics that being a christian is. The words are so strong "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. It's weird that this is the truth of the bible when our society is saying something completely different. it is normal nowadays when you are persecuted against, to get even. why is it that our society view and religious views are so different. and why is it that we are torn between the two when we know that god's way is so fruitful. It's hard to do this too, sometimes i feel like i love, but i guess i expect the love to be recipricated and it doesn't happen. i need to know that loving others is enough. i don't need anything back. i dont need other's love i need god's love. i need to rely on god and his love and not find self worth in the people around me. i think another hard thing is when you love someone, and you feel like to you they love you, but then they go behind your back and hurt you. i'm definatly guilty of this one, but i know due to recent events that it really hurts. to be called things behind your back by someone who pretends to love you when they see you really hurts. it would be so nice if i was able to love them right back through this hurt and pain that they caused, but it is something i am failing at right now. i know what is right and what i want to do, but this person keeps hurting me over and over and i feel like its getting harder and harder for me to show her love. its hard. these words are so ridiculous. as i'm torn between this social aspect of life and the gods way how could i not choose his path. it's crazy.
lord, help me to love others who have persecuted me. help me to see them as you do even after being hurt continuously. only you have the power to love through everything. help me to be like you. amen
43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
OAP: I think this verse brings me back to one of the basics that being a christian is. The words are so strong "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. It's weird that this is the truth of the bible when our society is saying something completely different. it is normal nowadays when you are persecuted against, to get even. why is it that our society view and religious views are so different. and why is it that we are torn between the two when we know that god's way is so fruitful. It's hard to do this too, sometimes i feel like i love, but i guess i expect the love to be recipricated and it doesn't happen. i need to know that loving others is enough. i don't need anything back. i dont need other's love i need god's love. i need to rely on god and his love and not find self worth in the people around me. i think another hard thing is when you love someone, and you feel like to you they love you, but then they go behind your back and hurt you. i'm definatly guilty of this one, but i know due to recent events that it really hurts. to be called things behind your back by someone who pretends to love you when they see you really hurts. it would be so nice if i was able to love them right back through this hurt and pain that they caused, but it is something i am failing at right now. i know what is right and what i want to do, but this person keeps hurting me over and over and i feel like its getting harder and harder for me to show her love. its hard. these words are so ridiculous. as i'm torn between this social aspect of life and the gods way how could i not choose his path. it's crazy.
lord, help me to love others who have persecuted me. help me to see them as you do even after being hurt continuously. only you have the power to love through everything. help me to be like you. amen
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
a drop in the oceannnn
S: 2 Thessalonians 3:1-5
1Finally, brothers, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you. 2And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men, for not everyone has faith. 3But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 4We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. 5May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.
OAP: It is crazy how through us, the message is spread, when i think about it, and the fact that i know jesus and don't shar him with everyone i meet, everyone who could have the chance of hearing it from me i am in shock. i think of all of the people that i encounter everyday and i know it'd be impossible to be there and tell them about christ, but if one person did that can you imagine the impact that itd have?! that would be insane. When we do venture out and do these things lord it is so clear that you provide for us. i have an amazing story. so last night was taco tuesday of course hahah and after dinner we couldn't think of anything to do so me brittany and chris decided to go make a bunch of taco's out of the leftovers, plums and waters that we had and bring them to the homeless downtown. so we go downtown and drive around and look for like twenty minutes for parking and then just park in some parking lot you have to pay for since all of the spots were taken. and as we were driving we saw that there were these people at the ceasar chavez park and something was going on. we saw that it was about freeing iran and the issue there with the president that they hadn't elected coming to power and having a young girl neda die for standing up for what she has believed in. we insantly knew that we needed and wanted to be apart of this. out of the hundreds and hundreds of people walking around the park chanting things such as "freedom for iran" and other things in farsi, we decided to join and just started to walk with random people. they greeted us nicely and asked what we were doing with the tacos and stuff and we told them our origional plan to come feed the homeless and how we wanted to walk with them. it was crazy that so many people were shocked by what we were doing. its sad that simple gestures like this are now so uncommon and shocking to people. but anyways, these random people we stood with happened to be iranian christians! totally god, and the explained everything that they were there for to us and just thanked us for being there and everything. it was amazing that out of all of these people we had stood with the iranian christians. totally god because the majority of these people study from the coran and don't believe what we do. and as we walked around we got to show god's love to these people by just showing them how we were out there along side them and out there loving the homeless. it was truely amazing. i felt god's presense so much. which is something i haven't felt in SO long. so then as the rally came to an end, we went back to the parking garage after handing out about half of the tacos waters and plums we had an iranin couple talked to us and encouraged us about how cool it was that we were there, and that we were helping the homeless. god's love shown through us last night. so we go to the car and are leaving the parking garage about to pay the guy and brittany and i offer him a water and taco, and it totallly caught him off guard, and he didn't want it but he was so surprised that he paid for our parking for us! it was crazy all i could think of was that God provides when we provide his love to others. it was insane. and so after that we had brought a bunch of old clothes and sweaters to give out but it was dark and late and we talked to some police officers who said we shouldn't pass out the tacos or clothes that late told us about a rescue mission we could bring them to that helps shelter homeless people for the night. it was truely an amazing night. god showed himself so much. i can't believe the beauty that he has placed right in front of us, and it is amazing. i can't even get over it.
jesus, i love you. you shelter us from evil, and provide us with your love. thank you for amazing people, and your incredible planning. thank you for making such insignificant things so powerful.
1Finally, brothers, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you. 2And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men, for not everyone has faith. 3But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 4We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. 5May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.
OAP: It is crazy how through us, the message is spread, when i think about it, and the fact that i know jesus and don't shar him with everyone i meet, everyone who could have the chance of hearing it from me i am in shock. i think of all of the people that i encounter everyday and i know it'd be impossible to be there and tell them about christ, but if one person did that can you imagine the impact that itd have?! that would be insane. When we do venture out and do these things lord it is so clear that you provide for us. i have an amazing story. so last night was taco tuesday of course hahah and after dinner we couldn't think of anything to do so me brittany and chris decided to go make a bunch of taco's out of the leftovers, plums and waters that we had and bring them to the homeless downtown. so we go downtown and drive around and look for like twenty minutes for parking and then just park in some parking lot you have to pay for since all of the spots were taken. and as we were driving we saw that there were these people at the ceasar chavez park and something was going on. we saw that it was about freeing iran and the issue there with the president that they hadn't elected coming to power and having a young girl neda die for standing up for what she has believed in. we insantly knew that we needed and wanted to be apart of this. out of the hundreds and hundreds of people walking around the park chanting things such as "freedom for iran" and other things in farsi, we decided to join and just started to walk with random people. they greeted us nicely and asked what we were doing with the tacos and stuff and we told them our origional plan to come feed the homeless and how we wanted to walk with them. it was crazy that so many people were shocked by what we were doing. its sad that simple gestures like this are now so uncommon and shocking to people. but anyways, these random people we stood with happened to be iranian christians! totally god, and the explained everything that they were there for to us and just thanked us for being there and everything. it was amazing that out of all of these people we had stood with the iranian christians. totally god because the majority of these people study from the coran and don't believe what we do. and as we walked around we got to show god's love to these people by just showing them how we were out there along side them and out there loving the homeless. it was truely amazing. i felt god's presense so much. which is something i haven't felt in SO long. so then as the rally came to an end, we went back to the parking garage after handing out about half of the tacos waters and plums we had an iranin couple talked to us and encouraged us about how cool it was that we were there, and that we were helping the homeless. god's love shown through us last night. so we go to the car and are leaving the parking garage about to pay the guy and brittany and i offer him a water and taco, and it totallly caught him off guard, and he didn't want it but he was so surprised that he paid for our parking for us! it was crazy all i could think of was that God provides when we provide his love to others. it was insane. and so after that we had brought a bunch of old clothes and sweaters to give out but it was dark and late and we talked to some police officers who said we shouldn't pass out the tacos or clothes that late told us about a rescue mission we could bring them to that helps shelter homeless people for the night. it was truely an amazing night. god showed himself so much. i can't believe the beauty that he has placed right in front of us, and it is amazing. i can't even get over it.
jesus, i love you. you shelter us from evil, and provide us with your love. thank you for amazing people, and your incredible planning. thank you for making such insignificant things so powerful.
Monday, June 22, 2009
before the storm
jesus, thank you. you know me so well, even better than i know myself. cliche, i know but it's true. you knew that i needed to get away from san jose and provided me with a way out. you took all outside contact, from everyone, friends family. it was perfect. i can't explain the experience. you showed me how humbling it is to look at everything and see how big you are, and the life that you give to us is so insignificant. thank you for putting people in my life who are examples, and models of how i should live. jesus thank you. this week i learned to go to you with anything..anything. no matter what it is. when i don't have anyone to talk to. i have you. why do i feel lonely. this week was an amazing reflection on you and your beauty and greatness and how strong you are. if only i could rememeber to always rely on you, my life would be awesome! so, i'm going to leave a verse here that has meant alot to me lately,
1 Peter 4:11
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength that God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and power forever and ever. Amen
jesus you have shown me how it feels to find strength in you. please help me to remember when i'm feeling weak that you are there to be my rock and stength. you are absolutely amazing.
1 Peter 4:11
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength that God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and power forever and ever. Amen
jesus you have shown me how it feels to find strength in you. please help me to remember when i'm feeling weak that you are there to be my rock and stength. you are absolutely amazing.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
leave the gossip to gossip girl
S: Psalm 103
Psalm 103
Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
OAP: wow, i feel like god knows exactly what i need to see right now. what stood out to me most was when it says in verse 8. "the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love." i feel like the things i need to work on are being put right in front of me lately. i feel like i definatly have been so quick in situations to just be angry and not take into consideration the other points of view. in verse 14 it says he remembers that we are dust. before that it talks about compassion and how compassionate that god is. i feel like if we are in situations where we would normally jump to anger before anything, it would be good to come back to this passage because it shows us an example of how we are to live in those situations. if only we could see people like jesus does, made from dust. us, just dust. so insignificant, but he cares about us still, he loves us still. okay so this is random but i was just thinking about it. and i was trying to imagine love and how i feel like i love many people, but i don't act on it. and i was thinking about it and i realized God has been able to love SO many people. think of all of the years that have passed where jesus was able to love people thousands of years have gone by and do we ever think about the love that christ had for those. the people in our past i know its totally random but i was thinking about that. someone once told me that the sun we look at is that same sun that jesus looked at so many years ago. it's so humbling. for me that really brings me closer to him. just hearing that made me smile and still makes me smile. it puts into reality another way that we can relate to jesus. it makes him more real to me. and it makes it easier for me to go to him, when i realize he has had these struggles, wow i wonder if jesus ever got sunburnt.
jesus reveal yourself to me, help me to be calm and collected and not to be quickly angered. help me to see people through the eyes of you. help me use the sun as a constant reminder that you understand what i am going through and you have been through it, and that you will be here. i also want to pray for people and relationships, whether it be friendships, sisters, or any other type of relationship that we are able to understand eachother and to try to not be close minded and to see things from another's perspective. please help us to forgive. thank you jesus for dying on the cross for me. because of you i am forgiven and can forigve others. amen
Psalm 103
Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
OAP: wow, i feel like god knows exactly what i need to see right now. what stood out to me most was when it says in verse 8. "the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love." i feel like the things i need to work on are being put right in front of me lately. i feel like i definatly have been so quick in situations to just be angry and not take into consideration the other points of view. in verse 14 it says he remembers that we are dust. before that it talks about compassion and how compassionate that god is. i feel like if we are in situations where we would normally jump to anger before anything, it would be good to come back to this passage because it shows us an example of how we are to live in those situations. if only we could see people like jesus does, made from dust. us, just dust. so insignificant, but he cares about us still, he loves us still. okay so this is random but i was just thinking about it. and i was trying to imagine love and how i feel like i love many people, but i don't act on it. and i was thinking about it and i realized God has been able to love SO many people. think of all of the years that have passed where jesus was able to love people thousands of years have gone by and do we ever think about the love that christ had for those. the people in our past i know its totally random but i was thinking about that. someone once told me that the sun we look at is that same sun that jesus looked at so many years ago. it's so humbling. for me that really brings me closer to him. just hearing that made me smile and still makes me smile. it puts into reality another way that we can relate to jesus. it makes him more real to me. and it makes it easier for me to go to him, when i realize he has had these struggles, wow i wonder if jesus ever got sunburnt.
jesus reveal yourself to me, help me to be calm and collected and not to be quickly angered. help me to see people through the eyes of you. help me use the sun as a constant reminder that you understand what i am going through and you have been through it, and that you will be here. i also want to pray for people and relationships, whether it be friendships, sisters, or any other type of relationship that we are able to understand eachother and to try to not be close minded and to see things from another's perspective. please help us to forgive. thank you jesus for dying on the cross for me. because of you i am forgiven and can forigve others. amen
Monday, June 15, 2009
boooo
god, why am i jealous. why do i still have to be in love. why can't i just move on, why dont i want to. why do you have plans for me that hurt me. i'm sorry for questioning you but why. it makes everything harder and hurt more. this sucks. please show me how to be happy and try to make it better. why is it so hard. why is it that all i want is to talk to him and see him. why cant things just be normal. why. ahh. im so frustrated. i am trying to be happy but why is it so hard. i know im being overdramatic but this is how i feel, i just dont understand. why couldnt it have worked out. why do i feel like everything is my fault. why is it that once i feel like things are getting better something else happens to bring me down. i dont get it. i know there are reasons for all of these things and i want to see them now. but i know i cant. can you please help me to understand why please soften my heart lord. i really need that.
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